English: This rape culture concerns each one of us: [15,355]

Every instance of a gender stereotyped role lends to the overall psyche of a society which is geared to produce the so called ‘deviant’ individuals.

Hardly a day goes by, when one doesn’t read about the murky details of murders, rapes, extortion and child abuse in the newspapers. But why do certain cases stand imprinted in our memory? These cases either stand out due to acts of extreme depravity or due to the nature of the crime itself. But the crimes that really shake us to our core are the ones that are depraved and ones, which could happen to any one of us. These are crimes committed against ordinary people in ordinary circumstances. These could happen to you or me while doing any of the normal routine chores that we go about doing, during our day.

Delhi’s rape incident was one such case. Extremely brutal and depraved, it happened to a woman who could be any one of us, in very ordinary situations. What could be more ordinary than boarding a public bus after a movie at a not-so-late hour, with a companion?

If we take the case of ta rape, tit clearly points to the handiwork of some depraved individual. One school of thought propagates that terming the perpetrator of a crime as ‘depraved’ creates a divide by which the larger populace alienates itself from the perpetrator, thereby providing not much leeway for the community to rectify itself as a whole.
The person doesn’t become depraved after committing an act of crime. This is no metamorphosis that suddenly transforms an apparently normal individual to a deviant personality. The individual had these traits in him even before he does anything. It is just that a crime brings it to the spot-light. These are passive tendencies, which come to the fore when the opportunity presents itself.

The point here is that the ‘depravity mindset’ exists in us and amidst us.

While there is no denying the need to impose much harsher and stricter punishments coupled with a swifter judicial system, I would liken it to a leash restraining a rabid dog. The leash will restrain the dog but the dog will attack at the slightest chance if the opportunity presents itself. The leash doesn’t cure the dog.

Even assuming that the perpetrator was actually ‘depraved’ and mentally unstable, the question which begs an answer is why society is producing more and more of these kinds of ‘depraved’ individuals. As a society are we an accomplice to producing individuals with personalities more tuned to committing violence on women?

In a country, where women routinely face physical and mental torture in the hands of their own family, cases of rapes might just be extensions of the mindset that has already conditioned itself to adhere to subjugation of women.

 Even an apparently innocent statement saying ‘This is not a girl’s job’ , will provide the foundation in the mind of a child who will later grow up with preconditioned notions of what women should or should not do. When conditioning like these are provided to a growing child on a routine basis through different channels, the message gets re-affirmed over and over again. The problem of objectifying /sexualizing women or treating them as a commodity then just becomes a continuation of their already established beliefs.

Every instance of a dowry being given/taken, a girl being denied education, stereotyping a woman’s roles, establishing male dominated control structures, lends to the overall psyche of a society which is geared to produce the so called ‘deviant’ individuals.

The crimes should not be viewed as isolated incidents committed by people who are not part of the society but viewed as offshoots or grotesque manifestations of a wound that is festering within us. It is this malaise that needs to be cured.
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Here are some myths v. reality and stereotypes of a rapist:
There are so many myths about rape and sexual abuse - about what consent is, about the kind of people who rape and about who it happens to. These beliefs are commonly held by many people and come from and reinforce prejudices and stereotypes which are reflected across our society from school playgrounds to workplaces, from the media to politicians and the criminal justice system.

These myths discourage survivors of sexual violence from coming forward after they've been raped. They shift the responsibility for the crime from the perpetrator to the survivor who may fear that they will themselves be put on trial.

MYTH: A rapist is a stranger.
REALITY: The most recent figures indicate that 90% of the most serious sexual offenses involve a perpetrator known by the victim; for example, friend, lover, colleague, family member, spouse, partner or ex- partner.

MYTH: People who get drunk or take drugs or don’t take personal safety precautions shouldn’t be surprised if they are raped or sexually assaulted and must take some of the blame.
REALITY: Being vulnerable does not imply consent. If someone is drunk, drugged or unconscious,  they are not able to give consent to engage in sex. The law states that is a person lacks the choice or capacity to consent then this is rape and 100% of the responsibility for that lies with the rapist and not the victim or the survivor of such a sexual based assault.

MYTH: Rape only happens in dark alleys.
REALITY:  60% of women are attacked inside a building, and for 31% of women,  the rape occurs in their own home - the most common place of all.

MYTH: Women get raped because they are dressed provocatively.
REALITY: If a person decides to rape someone, it makes no difference what the victim is wearing.

MYTH: Rape only happens to certain types of people.
REALITY: Rape can happen to anybody, anywhere,  whatever their ability, age, class, gender, or race.

MYTH: Rapists are monsters/maniacs
REALITY: Rapists are ordinary people, and some people are highly respected members of the community and  very few convicted rapists are considered to be in need of any psychiatric treatment.

MYTH: Rape is a crime of sexual needs or uncontrollable urges.
REALITY: People can, and do, control their sexual urges. Rape is a crime of violence, control, degradation and intimidation - it is not about sex but about power, particularly the power to control.

MYTH: Women say "no" but they mean "yes".
REALITY: When women say no they mean no. Sex without consent is rape. Regardless of the gender. And regardless of the situation.

MYTH: They didn’t struggle so they were not raped.
REALITY: Many people are too afraid to struggle or may find they freeze and don't feel able to struggle or move. Or are under immediate threat of death, like having a knife across the throat during the act, or a firearm pointed at the head.

As always, stay safe !

Bird

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