CONFESSSIONS

Confessions of car thief

Are you in the wrong profession?

I was driving around when I stumbled on this radio station, talking about criminals. The hosts thought that our jails are filled with dumb criminals. The smart ones are at it, on the outside and never get caught.

Well, soon a car thief called in the show.

If you have never had the pleasure of having your car stolen, listen up.

The guy says he has never been caught, and now has three homes from the income he generated from stealing cars. Are you ready to turn in your resignation, yet?

He goes on to say that he has given up all that now, and currently runs his own business. How many cars did he steal? A mere 600.

What did he do with the cars. “Chopped them up”.

How much did he make per car? A mere $4000.00. Are you typing the letter yet?

How many did he steal in a week? “Three”.

How did he do it? “After selecting the victim, I would walk him to the event he was going to, like a movie, graduation ceremony etc. Once he was in, I would walk back to the car and use a three-inch flat head screw driver to complete the job”.

If you are at your door ready to begin your new career, just one more important tip. “I always waited for the cop car to show up, before I made my move. Then I knew there were no undercover cops around”.

“I have never been caught and I am set for life. Now I wouldn’t even steal a candy from a store”. Why would you when the pocket is lined with ‘Benjamins’?

The host admitted that he had just one house.

Are you freaking kidding me!!!!!!!!!!!!!