In Birdy's Eyes:

JUST FOR LAUGHTS

Actual Accident Summaries

The following are actual statements found on insurance forms where drivers attempted to summarize the details of an accident in the fewest words possible:

Coming home, I drove into wrong house and collided with a tree I don't have.

I thought my window was down, but found it was up when I put my head through it.

The other car collided with mine without giving warning of its intentions.

I collided with a stationary car going the other way.

A truck backed through my windshield into my wife's face.

A pedestrian hit me and went under my car.

The guy was all over the road.  I had to swerve a number of times before I hit him.

I pulled away from the side of the road, glanced at my mother-in-law and headed over the embankment.

In my attempt to kill a fly, I drove into a telephone pole.

I had been shopping for plants all day and was on my way home.  As I reached an intersection a hedge sprang up obscuring my vision, and I did not see the other car.

I had been driving for 40 years when I fell asleep at the wheel and had an accident.

I was on my way to the doctor with rear end trouble when my universal joint gave way causing me to have an accident.

As I approached the intersection a sign suddenly appeared in a place where no stop sign had ever appeared before.  I was unable to stop in time to avoid the accident.  To avoid hitting the bumper of the car in front, I ran over the pedestrian.

My car was legally parked as it backed into the other vehicle.

An invisible car came out of nowhere, struck my car and vanished.

I told the police that I was not injured, but upon removing my hat found that I had a fractured skull.

I was sure the old fellow would never make it to the other side of the curb, I had to swerve several times just to hit him.

The telephone pole was approaching.  I was attempting to swerve out of its way when it struck the front end.  I was thrown from the car as it left the road.  I was later found in the ditch by some stray cows.

The indirect cause of the accident was a little guy in a small car with a big mouth.

The pedestrian had no idea which direction to run, so I ran over him.