LONDON,
ONTARIO - 11/20/17 - Robert Johnson has laid bare his sins.
As
a self-described pedophile, he downloaded hundreds of thousands of images of
pre-pubescent girls (Between the ages of 7 to 13 years old) in some very sexually
provocative poses until he was caught. The
size of his collection confounded even police and attorneys who successfully
charged and prosecuted him twice on child pornography charges once in 2009 and then
again in 2012.
Today,
sitting in the backyard of his home, not far from the courthouse where he became
forever infamous as one of Canada’s most notorious collectors of child
pornography, he is both repentant and cautionary.
“I
got sloppy and I deserved everything that happened to me,” said Johnson in an
exclusive first-ever interview. It was a form of addiction. I don’t use it as
an excuse. I use it as an explanation. No one is more zealous than a reformed
sinner.”
After
serving 2 ½ in jail for his most recent
conviction, Johnson says he is telling his story in an effort to bring public
attention to what he calls the largely hidden trade of child pornography
online.
“It
hooks you. It’s the forbidden fruit,” says the 64-year-old divorced man whose
high-profile convictions have left him estranged from his ex-wife, daughter and
virtually all of his family and friends. You can not rationally explain it. I
knew it was wrong. But something about it is just so insidious, it gets into
your head, it gets into your eyes.”
Robert
Johnson weeds the garden in his London, Ont., back yard. Johnson says he is
telling his story in an effort to bring public attention to what he calls the
largely hidden trade of child pornography online.
In
2012, police found more than 3,220,000 illicit images of young girls on
Johnson’s computer. The girls ranged in age from about seven years old to their
early teens, he says. At the time, he didn’t see himself as an abuser. He
rationalized that he was a mere observer of images created by others. He said that they didn't even scratch the surface of what he had; as there were more than 150 CD's of Images that he had stored in a Public Storage Garage, these CD's he explained were turned over to the Toronto Police within a week of his release from custody, he believes that every one of these CD's had at least 6,500 to 12,000 pictures of young girls and boys depicted in a variety of compromising sexual positions.
“I
fully realize that those were live, real human beings. Kids. Roped into this.
Tricked into it. Whatever the mechanism, I realized these are real people being
exploited in one of the most heinous, insidious ways possible. To realize I
engaged in that, it just disgusts me.”
The
price he paid reaches well beyond the convictions, jail time and public
humiliation, he says.
“The
damage that I’ve done to myself, it just goes on and on and on,” says Johnson. My
daughter has disowned me and I don’t blame her because the sense of betrayal is
unimaginable.”
He
hasn’t reached out since being released from prison last year. It’s too soon,
he says.
“I’m
honest with myself to realize that I bloody well deserved all the damage that
came on my head because think of all the damage I contributed to those kids.”
Johnson’s
path from married father with two university degrees and a middle-class income
to a notorious child pornography collector seems surreal even to him. Despite
suffering with obsessive - compulsive disorder and Asperger’s, he led a life
that appeared to outsiders as productive and normal. He married at 22. His
daughter was born the following year. He was the breadwinner, working in IT
positions at Western University and Brock University. He and his wife separated
in 2000, and five years later he started living a secret life logging on to
child pornographic websites.
“I
still had a healthy sex drive and I turned to the ubiquitous Internet porn for
an outlet. That was the first time I saw child pornography. It popped up on one
of the adult porn sites.”
Fast
forward a year and he says he was seeking it out, collecting it in massive
downloads, often well into the night, sometimes all night long and up to the wee hours the very next morning.
“It
is so pernicious, so vile,” Johnson says. “But so magnetic at the same time.
You’re drawn to it. There were times when I was up for hours and hours just downloading
images.”
He
was charged on child porn possession charges in 2009 and sentenced to 49 days
in jail along with two years’ probation and inclusion on the sex offender
registry. After release from prison on conditions, he says he found himself
beginning again several months later.
“(I
started) peeking here and peeking there and getting my foot wet.” Soon though he was downloading massive
amounts of illicit child pornography. That
ended on May 30, 2012.
He
was taking an afternoon nap when he heard a voice yelling, “the police are
here.” And he knew why.
As
he was removed from his home, he whispered to his girlfriend, “I’m sorry. It’s
true. I’m a pedophile.” She had no idea what he had been doing. “I was so good
at hiding it,” he says.
He
pleaded guilty and was eventually sentenced to serve out a total of two years
and six months of jail time. “Let’s not sugar-coat this,” one lawyer in his
trial is quoted as saying. “What he had and what he liked to do is look at
children when they were being victims ... He enjoyed watching the children
suffer.” His only support through it all was his girlfriend, he says, who
attended trial and visited him in prison. She passed away in April 2017.
Johnson
says prison and professional treatment has gradually removed the urges he once
had.
“There
is hope for those caught in this despicable area of human activity,” he says.
“It took 20 months (in jail) and huge losses to burn any inclination out of me
… (I was) erasing and re-erasing the mental images to get to the point where
they are no longer spontaneous.”
Still
on probation, he is prevented by court order from owning a computer or
accessing the Internet. His vintage cellphone has no Internet capability. What
remains, he says, is using his experience to stop other men.
“The
stuff is turning really, really grisly,” he says. “My duty is to put a warning
out there that if you’re going to do this, you’re going to get caught and you’re
going to lose everything — reputation, job, finances, circle of friends and acquaintances, everyone is going
to abandon you. It’s going to blow up in your face for the rest of your life.”
As
Always, Stay Safe !
-
Bird
