(Author
of this little piece is unknown …)
[Caution
not your normal candy story …]
It
was another payday
and I was tired of Mr.
Goodbar.
I
saw Miss Hershey
standing behind the powerhouse
on the corner of Clark
and Fifth
Avenue
when I whipped out my whopper
and whispered, "Hey sweetheart,
how'd you like to crunch
on my big
hunk
for a 100
grand?"
Well,
she immediately went down on my tootsie
roll,
and it was like pure almond
joy!
I couldn't help but grab her delicious mounds
because it was easy to see that this little twix
had the red
hots.
It
was all I could do to hold the snickers
and krackle
as my butterfinger
went up her tight little kit
kat
and she started to scream "Oh
henry,
oh
henry!"
Soon
she was fondling my peter
pan
and zagnut
and I knew it wouldn't be long before I blew my milk
duds
clear to mars
that gave her a taste of the old milky
way.
She
asked me if I was into M&M,
but I said, "Hey chicklet,
no kinky stuff. I said, "Look you little reese's
pieces,
don't be a zero,
be a lifesaver.
Why don't you take my watchamacallit
and slip it up your bit
~o~ honey?"
(What
a piece of juicy
fruit
she was too!) She screamed, "Oh crackerjack,
better than the three
musketeers!"
As
I rammed my ding
dong
up her rocky
road
and into her peanut
butter cup.
Well, I was giving it to her good
~n~ plenty,
when all of a sudden...my starburst!
Yeah,
as luck would have it, she started to grow chunky
and complained of a wrigley
in her stomach.
Sure
enough, 9 months later, out popped... a baby
ruth!
Ahh, enjoy life !
-Bird
***
