English: Ah the morning cup of coffee:

There is nothing quite right about getting up in the morning and not having a steaming cup of coffee. Ah the taste, the absolute bliss, and if you are like me, the stronger the better, if man could live on coffee alone, I would most certainly volunteer to be that test subject. So I was coming down the stairs and seen Grandpa sitting at the dining room table with a rather sour expression on his face, so I asked him, “What’s up?” And he said: ‘Today, we will plant the coffee beans and in about 4 to 5 months we will be drinking those coffee beans, I just need some help, and I will not ask Grandma, as all she ever does these days is talk to herself, as seems not to have any clue what of going on around her …’

“Yeah, ah, Grandpa, I’m here and I will help you, do what needs to be done, right after my first cup of go juice…”

‘You will, fantastic,’ he said smiling from ear to ear. ‘Here let me get you a cup…’

“I don’t want Grandma’s coffee, it tastes funny…’” ‘Yeah I understand how you feel, so here is some of my extra special premium roast, dark and favorable, super loaded, hot and not decaffeinated, coffee, do you want milk or sugar with your morning brew?’

“No, Grandpa, just black, and I’ll be fine.”

‘That is good, because Grandma, always uses milk, sugar, honey and a small teaspoon on cinnamon, to the point where she cannot even taste the coffee anymore…’

So we sat at the dining room table and drank out coffee, mean while at the other end of the kitchen, there is Grandma having a conversation with … ? Since she is looking at the stove, I am assuming that is who she is talking to. I figured that if she is happy, then I am happy.

We finished and Grandpa said, ‘Come on, son, (he always calls me son, hell I spend enough time over at their house, you would think I lived there) we need to go to the basement (oh what memories I have of the basement, some that I am quite fond of …. others, well …) I have almost everything ready (which actually means that he only has gotten to looking at what he needs to be done, and then thinking of who can do it for him, while he stands around and does nothing but supervise) be careful you don’t bump your head on the top of the door jamb … (yeah, he always says that too, the fact is when he and Grandma built the house in the late 1800’s [at least I think it was the later 1800’s, the way he talks sometimes though he had met Christ and ate dinner with him, so it could have been during the 1800’s B.C.E] they needed to save on building costs so they trimmed about 30” or so off all the doors, so nor when you walk around in the house you have to do so with a hunch, or a good portion of your head, up to your neck, would be on the second floor), and be careful of the stairs as they are a wee bit steep,’ (steep, hell, that is putting it mildly,, it’s like climbing down a ladder, again he needed to save the money). “I know Grandpa.” Finally we made it, the Basement is actually quite large, and I see (amazing) that he has a bed of earth bordered by wood, sitting on a pallet in the middle of the basement floor. ‘You see, son, I have been planning on doing this for quite some time now… (yup, it must have been a couple years, just to get this far, Grandpa is very old, hell, just the act of getting out of bed and getting dressed for the days, requires his to take a nap for at least another hour, as he is all tuckered out, so something like this would have taken him, probably 14 to 18 months to complete, if it was me, it would take me, maybe 3 hours max), ‘So what we need to do it,’ here is Grandpa, reaching above his work bench, and pulling down a large 2.5 gallon jar - partially filled with [what I am assuming is to be] seeds, beans, the start of life), ‘here we need to count out these coffee beans … let’s see now, we will do 7 over by 6 down, that will be 42 total coffee plants that should yield right around 16.3 tons of coffee beans per plant in about 4 months, for a total of 684.6 tons, or 1,396,200 lbs., and seeing that we generally use right around 258 pounds per week, the yield will last us just shy of 2 years and one day…’ “Yeah, whatever Grandpa, but if we don’t start we will never have that yield…”

‘Right here we go, then, I will plant these seeds and you will need to come along after me and make sure all the soil covers the seed, can you do that?’ “Oh yeah, this should be interesting, as a waste of a day…” ‘Alright here goes the first one, it’s in now it’s your turn.’ “Ah, Grandpa, there is a problem here…” ‘Yeah, and what’s that?’ ‘Well, from the time you said, ‘”Here goes the first one, and the time you said, it’s now your turn…” ‘Yeah.’ “Four hours had elapsed…” ‘Oh.’ Here Grandpa let me plant these things, but I doubt very seriously, it will give us coffee…” ‘What do you mean you doubt?’

“Well Grandpa, these seeds came out of the jar that had the label Pinto Beans on it, and I know that a Pinto bean is a far cry from a coffee bean … So we are planting Pinto Beans expecting to get coffee, ah Grandpa, there is a problem here…” ‘No, there is no problem here, I put the Pinto Beans in the Coffee Bean Jar, and the Coffee Beans, in the Pinto Bean Jar, because Grandma was using all my Coffee beans, and I didn’t want to run out.’

“So you switched the two?” ‘Yup right around 6 months ago…’ “Uh huh, no wonder why Grandma is strange…” ‘And why is that, son?’“So every morning, for the last 6 months, Grandma, comes down to the kitchen to fix her a pot of that nasty coffee, she likes to drink, and it turns out that she has been grabbing the beans from the jar marked coffee, grinding them up, for her morning brew… And, it turns out that her morning cup of go juice, has not been coffee at all, because you switched it out with the Pinto Beans. Grandma has been drinking, a hot cup of Pinto Bean Juice, every morning for the last 6 months, and now we know why she is talking to herself, and everything else…” Ahhhh ….

Welcome to my Reality

- Bird.

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